Negotiate

In any business dynamic, the ability to negotiate effectively provides an advantage. For career newbies, seekers, and changers, it's a critically necessary skill and the difference between successful and sustained versus successful and uncertain. Negotiation skills are not only a critical factor in obtaining the appropriate compensation for your work, but also a skill that will help you navigate your career. Nearly every engagement that requires you to gain buy-in from colleagues or business leaders, will also require you to leverage your negotiation skills. I would argue all, but there are earlier stages in your career where the stakes are not as high and the opportunity to engage in a negotiation is traded for acceptance or any other form of alignment without compromise. Compromising is the result of a negotiation and the better you are at determining where compromises will not undermine your initiative, the greater your advantage becomes.

My first rule of negotiation is to decide what is or isn't a dealbreaker ahead of time and commit to walking away if necessary. This is an important step in helping to organize your thoughts and priorities. You may quickly decide that your ask isn't as high stakes for you, as you initially thought. When we approach negotiation as an amateur, we lead with emotion and passion. We are often filled with extreme thoughts that convince us that we are being personally targeted and as a result we may suffer a high stakes lost. It's important to slow down and look at the facts before proceeding, because ultimately every battle isn't truly a battle. You may find that after stripping away the emotion you are no longer as concerned with the most extreme outcomes of the conversation at hand. Therefore the topic is not a dealbreaker, but simply an ask. Knowing that changes all of your steps to follow.

Prepare your ask by doing your research, both online and with your colleagues or peers. The most common negotiation that people actually want to talk through is salary, so we'll use it as our example. Know what to ask for. Know whether or not it is reasonable. Be prepared with your second and third options. A negotiation is not a hostage situation. If you are going in with zero room for an actual negotiation, then you should be prepared for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and a plan to walk away if things do not go your way. This is not an advised approach to any negotiation, but it's quite possible to find yourself in this scenario. Research allows you to properly calibrate your expectations. Asking for a salary that is double the market rate is not a negotiation. However, proposing a salary that is higher than the average market rate along with prepared points to justify your ask allows the other party to tie your ask to the specific benefits you have to offer. Pair your skills and experience with specific projects that were discussed as priorities during your interviews. Use examples of how your influence has supported your success in closing major deals. Tell a compelling story that highlights your unique abilities. Keep the focus on what you have to offer and stay away from inferring any comparison to other candidates. 

Go in with a positive outlook instead of doubt. Leading with positivity not only shifts your mindset but it influences your word choice and body language. When you have a positive mindset your aura is completely different. It's confident, warm and inviting. Who doesn't enjoy being in the company of someone who is radiating positivity? Things are more likely to go in your favor when you believe that it's possible. You instantly shift away from justifying and trying to convince others that what you are saying is true. Be sure not to skip preparation, because no matter how positive you are if you are not prepared your positivity will wane when you are met with tough questioning. If you find that there is doubt in your mind about your ask, then it's important to do the work upfront to uncover what is at the root of your doubt. This may take time, but it's necessary to have your full being aligned with your intentions and definitely worth the effort. The outcome is a direct result of your outlook.

Now that you have your answer, what's next? A 'no' today is not a 'no' forever. Having the courage to initiate a negotiation is a win within itself. You have faced the fear and you didn't die. In fact, you have gained the confidence to try again. What you learn from the experience can be used in your future negotiations. There will be plenty of low stakes opportunities to practice your skills before your next, big negotiation. Even a 'yes' may leave you questioning whether or not your ask was big enough. I challenge you to use your energy to celebrate your triumph, instead of further questioning your capabilities. The excitement of successfully negotiating your terms is a great boost of confidence and certainty in yourself.

You did it, now go out and try it again. Eventually the ability to negotiate becomes second nature and you are able to teach someone else how to become a skilled negotiator as well.

*Written in bed on a very cold winter morning, with a hot cup of coffee.